G.
Gadfly: A fringe member of the courtesan class whose real ambition is to make it to the ruling class despite possessing no discernible talents whatsoever. (See: Jordy Hollett and Marty McVey for more)
Gaia: An idealized version of the planet earth viewed by environmentalists as the gold standard for Houtopia. A place that does not exist on either this plane of reality or any other.
Galveston: A city possessing a relatively mild climate where homeless people like to congregate.
Garbage: More prevalent, and of bigger concern, then most in City government would have you believe.
Gardens (Private): Places of refuge, often in one's back yard.
Gardens (Urban): Places of ridicule designed primarily to shame those who don't believe they are a worthy expenditure of tax dollars. Often sold as a method to fight food deserts.
Gas Giant: A local politician placed in front of a microphone.
Gas (Natural): A hydrocarbon extracted from the ground and sold, primarily to people in the Northeast who use it to then heat their homes. Also touted as a "bridge fuel" to a hydrocarbon free energy future, something that it is certainly not.
Gasoline: Often mistaken for gas by members of Houston's media it is in fact a refined product of oil. Calling gasoline gas and vice-versa only proves that someone wasn't paying attention in chemistry 101.
Gavel: The ideal symbol for government who considers itself a hammer of justice. Of course, this makes every citizen a nail.
Gay: 1. Happy or joyful. 2. Perpetually angry and aggrieved minority class who, despite being rather well-off financially as a whole, have invented a new class of civil rights for a new generation. (Also includes: LBTQ and sometimes P)
George Greanias: The triumph of connection over creepiness.
George H.W. Bush: Proof that history, age, and an unwillingness to engage in politics after leaving office can massage a moderately bad reputation.
George R. Brown Convention Center: Evidence that world classiness is a journey with no destination.
Govern: Something the ruling class enjoys trumpeting that they have the ability to do, despite proving daily that they do not.
Government: 1. (Classical Definition) A collection of elected representatives designed to function under strictly defined boundaries established by either (Federal) the Constitution of the United States of America, (Texas) The Texas State Constitution or (Houston) the Houston City Charter. 2. (Reality) A collection of both the ruling class and courtesans who feel that their main duty in life is to direct and control every aspect of the citizens lives in order to protect them from themselves. 3. (Abstract) A gavel. 4. (Houston) The inmates running the asylum.
Government Accountability Organizations: Groups that neither focus on good government or making it accountable. Proof that marketing is a powerful force.
In fact, GAO's rarely focus on the actual workings of government at all. In most cases they are partisan attack dogs who do the bidding of the ruling class in order to take down the opposition be that either the other political party or corporations who do not show due deference to their betters.
Greater Houston Partnership: Self-identifies as the largest business organization in Houston. In reality the GHP is Houston's biggest gathering place for the courtesan class and is perpetually carrying the water for members of local government especially on matters of increasing taxes on citizens.
Green: 1. A color that is a mixture of the primary colors blue and yellow. 2. The justification for an increasing variety of expenditures by government designed ostensibly to save Gaia but which really function to enrich preferred members of the courtesan class.
Grocery Stores: The store-fronts for private industries selling foodstuffs to citizens. Tax abatements to these businesses are seen as the ultimate solution to food deserts.
Gulf Coast Institute: Rebranded as Houston Tomorrow due to the propensity of their rather silly leader, David Crossley, to utter silly things, the GCI is dedicated to destroying pretty much everything that is unique about Houston itself. Made up primarily of the unproductive class the GCI is big on workshops and reimagining. Contributes nothing.
Gun Control: This, and homicide, are the two things that need to be eradicated to end murder, according to Sheila Jackson Lee.
Guns: Tools.
Gyros: A Greek pita-based sandwich that is enjoyed by many, and mispronounced by most. Occasionally done right in Houston but most often poorly executed.
