Friday, November 06, 2015

Houston Area Leadership Vacuum: Their Hometown is an Embarassment.*

I'm sorry Houston, but you're one big embarrassment.

Most of you just can't see the vision here. You don't have the capacity to understand that if you want to make a good omelet, you have to start by breaking some sacred eggs.  I understand that this is tough, that you think you should have a say over the rearing and education of your children, that you should be able to set their value system in accordance with your beliefs, but no.  This is not true. Because your children, raised in your way, are more than likely going to grow up and be a carbon copy of you, and that can't stand.

And really, have you ever tried to talk to you?  I mean, according to certain reports (of no provenance) you're not even capable of getting out two words without sputtering and spitting and throwing out a wall of hate. So insecure are you in your own sexuality that, when confronted by the enlightened, you devolve into a slithering pile of primordial jelly whose only recourse is to run and hide.  This works all the better for their venting if you are a Male over six feet and they are a female of relatively diminutive stature. (Makes for a better Gray Matters post you understand)

Because now, the current Mayor is threatening to reintroduce HER Ordinance, on her watch, within the next two months before she leaves office. This will surely set up another painful debate that could be easily avoided by simply waiting, gathering all of the interested parties together and talking it out, you know, like adults. This also gives them another chance to reaffirm their intellectual superiority over you, to ensure that YOU KNOW they are enlightened and you are not. Until you fully understand the depth and breadth of your knuckle-dragging ignorance they will continue to write stories to publish in Gray Matters, the New York Times (and other publications) that you won't read. You won't read them because you don't read those publications, which is just another example of your inferiority.

Of course, we also know now that all of the rhetoric from supporters was a lie. A carefully crafted lie that our government and media were in on. A lie that the whole bathroom/locker room thing was not a consideration and the lie that great economic harm is just over the horizon. But none of that matters. What matters is the lie and why they are telling it. And it's not because they really care about "equal rights for all" either.

They're lying because they hate you, and they don't respect you, and you disgust them and they want to feel better about themselves.  Oh sure they'll come calling to you looking for money and donations and it's good if you patronize their favorite establishments during off-peak hours, those types of things are OK. They'll even allow you, during holidays etc. to use their parks and come in with your flabby arms, cut-off shorts and non-designer brand clothes to make a mess of things. Then they'll mock you for the mess you made because the City didn't provide adequate waste disposal services.

Most of all, they hate not being held up in the highest esteem by New York and other outsiders. They hate their inferiority complexes and the fact that they're only viewed as the energy capital of the world, and not the light rail/museum/arts/food/cultural/insert-insecurity-here capital of the world. they hate that it burns when they watch all of the pretty people on TV and then are forced to trudge into their jobs and they see Johnny from the suburbs and his suit bought from the Macy's clearance bin and his McCafe coffee cup and pictures of children on his desk sitting on what is obviously a suburban park with their chubby little appendages serving as proof that he stuffs their bellies with nothing but fast food produced by the working hands of 'those people', the people who need their help because they don't know any better.

And it's all our fault. Those of us who don't really care about who sleeps with who or what the self-centered crowd from New York thinks about us or the not-really-all-that-bright Hollywood set. We are standing squarely in the way of Houtopia. Those of us who just want to go to work, eat the food we like, watch the movies we like and not get involved in the lives and choices of others. It's our fault because we don't know our place. Because we are inferior and stupid and too gormless to understand that their vision and plans for us are the best visions and plans. That our way only leads to a future dystopia where races commingle and not-everything is European-lite.

They're better than that, and they want you to be to. They want you to be better than that, to think, but not BE,  just like them, they would prefer it if you remain poorer and out of their way. What they really want is for you to go live in your neighborhoods and subsidize them making theirs how they want it to be.  If you do decide to move into the city, please select one of the chosen neighborhoods, you can identify them because they're occupied by the poor (East Downtown is one, they don't visit there much). Just don't go to their places or try to live in a high-rise near their neighborhood because that would interrupt their latte and beer and might cast a shadow on their Tibetan Cinnamon tree that was imported via eco-friendly floating natives and blessed by the Dalai Lama himself (probably). You see, these things need constant sunshine and the shadow from your high-rise would ruin the karma man. 

Really they'd just be happiest if you'd shut up and keep voting them into power. Especially those of you they consider to be in the 'inferior' demographic groups. You know, those who need their help? If 'those people' would just accept the crumbs of help and vote in the correct manner they'd be quite happy. For the rest of you (read: older, Caucasian conservatives primarily) just stay in your gated communities in the sticks. That way they can write even more articles in publications you don't read talking about how bad you are, how you're forcibly raping Mother Gaia and how everything that is wrong in the world is the result of the carbon that is emanating from your tailpipe.

Oh sure, they'll tell people that they TOLD you to change. How they clamored and played "An Inconvenient Truth" on a continuous loop for 20 days straight until Al Gore's visage was burned permanently into the side of the Hilton America's Hotel. They'll claim that "business leaders" tell them to keep doing things their way.  Of course, they won't identify those "business leaders" and when asked they'll turn around and ask you how many business leaders YOU know? And then they'll pout.

And while pouting they'll do some more TV interviews and talk about some more protests (provided the weather is nice) and they might even buy a Guy Fawkes mask because, edgy. Even better is that they might ride their bikes on a busy road during rush-hour, pound the hoods of cars and then not care if first responders can't navigate through to a medical emergency, or a fire, or a crime.  Because the only thing that matters to them about you is that you pour their coffee while it's hot, and take their abuse when the escarole is not as fresh or local as they think it should be.

Other than that?  Should you, possibly, have an idea how something should be better, should you invent a company like "GoRevGo"  or maybe want to, eventually, do something they don't think is fine? Say you prefer Shipley's to Krispy Kreme or want to go to the Monster Truck Jam or that you really aren't interested in the fetid selection of vegetables available at Houston area farmer's markets but prefer the traditionally farmed produce at HEB?

You embarrass them.











































*See how easy that is?