I.
I: Lisa Falkenberg's absolute favorite word of all the words. Used more often in her writing than "the".
IAH: Officially, Houston Intercontinental Airport. In reality: A key cog in Houston's business community whose primary purpose has been obscured by City Hall in an attempt to promote New Urbanism.
Idea: Actually, there are none of these anymore dreamt up by the ruling class. In fact, most ideas come from the private sector are then recycled and pushed back out to the citizens as tax incentives.
Identification: A plastic card signifying that the State 1. believes you are who you claim to be and 2. that you have paid them enough money for them to issue verification of that fact.
Identification (Gender): The only proper answer to the survey question is Sex: "Occasionally"
Identification (Race): Another box on a survey whose sole purpose is to convince a bureaucrat that racial quotas have been fulfilled without them actually having to do any verification of the fact.
Idiocy: See common sense.
Illness: Usually cured by rest. Often a problem that the ruling class believes can be eliminated with a costly government solution.
Imagination: Outlawed, except in cases of extreme budgetary difficulty.
Imagine: Something the unproductive class likes to do very much. Better than working.
Inbred: An insult typically leveled at one's political opposites to show the backward thinking surrounding their political beliefs. Taken in historical context this makes little sense.
Income: The primary purpose of the State is to extract as much of this from the citizenry as possible without damaging the incumbency.
Incumbency: God of the ruling class. Worship of other deities is strictly forbidden.
Inequality: A method for preserving incumbency by convincing the have-nots that it is not the ruling class whose shoddy governance has led to their state but the rich who have rigged a game that is not being actively played.
Inmates: A political tool to be used only around election season when suddenly the ruling class tries to convince the citizens that how they are treated is a reflection of modern society because of a quote made by a Russian author whose works few have actually ever read.
International Trade: A bogeyman pulled out of the closet, dusted off and given a shave by populist politicians when they believe that the citizens are not buying their stump speeches and need to be presented with new villains in order to scare them into voting for the correct candidate.
Internet: Once held up as a sign of inequality that needed to be addressed which has now morphed into a political afterthought due, primarily, to the realization that food deserts are fuzzier concepts that have more opportunities for cronyism in the fix.
Irradiated: We don't like to think of our food as being doused with radiation, despite the fact that this practice has been proven to prevent food borne illness and a host of other maladies. Instead we prefer to put America's food safety program in the hands of minimum-wage workers and then become very irritated when they fail.
Irritated: Mayor Parker's perpetual emotional state when the peons dared disagree with her.
J.
Jade Helm: A political Rorschach Test for idiocy.
Jalapeño: The triumph of marketing over taste. We all know that Serrano peppers taste much better.
January: The first month in the calendar year which, for some reason makes us think that the actions of the past will not repeat themselves in the future.
Jewelry: Adornments primarily designed to distract from the fact that one's plastic surgery did not go entirely as planned.
Journalism: The Dodo Bird of professional skills.
Journalist: 1. Former professional name for news reporter. 2. Current term used to describe Internet content engineers whose grades weren't good enough to procure employment elsewhere.
Judgment: In a court of law, judgment is the key factor that keeps the legal machine churning. In polite society we use it to reinforce our own sense of superiority over our fellow citizens.
Jury: 12 people to dumb to find a bias in the case allowing them to avoid serving on one who could potentially then be asked to pass judgment on complex financial matters.
Just Cause: An pronoun that always proceeds the forced takings of income from the citizenry.
