So this is a real thing:
Houston's first official "parklet" is now resting outside 19th St mattress store. Swamplot.com
 |
| Picture courtesy of Newliving |
Apparently, the Parker administration has lowered the bar for ribbon cuttings to include things resembling something hastily thrown together by a 3rd graders parents in an effort to earn a "C" grade for that gardening project due tomorrow the child neglected to tell them about.
What you're seeing in the picture above (from Swamplot via New Living, please go read their entire article) is apparently not a late-arriving April Fool's joke. This is a thing in Houston and it's called a parklet.
Now, before going any further, I've been to Europe, Asia, and visited many cities across the US of A and I'm familiar with the concept of placing a barrier of plants between parked cars and sidewalks in front of bars/restaurants which allow for patio dining and, in many cases, they are a good idea. They are (usually) tastefully done in a stone planter and placed just on the edge of the curb.
What I've never seen in ANY city is something that looks like a make-shift dumpster or construction staging area for greenery given the land-mark treatment and the full rigmarole that's being afforded this eyesore. To suggest that this was "designed" is an insult to design, to suggest that it represents a gigantic leap forward in the aesthetics of Houston borderlines on the ridiculous. That Houston's lame-duck Mayor is going to have a celebration and ribbon-cutting ceremony for this is just more than a little bit sad.
On top of that, Mayor Parker's Chief Policy Officer/Director of Communications Janice Evans shares with us that S'mores are being provided at the site. This brings to mind several questions. For one, given that it's now illegal under Annise Antoinnete's regime for charity organizations to feed the homeless unless they are operating out of a certified kitchen, has Mr. S'more been cleared by the Houston Department of Health to distribute said sticky-sweet food items? After all, we live in a world where the City now decides who can provide a chicken sandwich to the most needy among us, should not that same standard also apply to who can provide sweets to folks who live in refurbished bungalows?
I enjoy a good S'more just as much as the next person. But I have to wonder if we're not on the verge of the great marshmallow controversy here judging by the picture. I mean, I don't seen any evidence that established food safety protocols are being followed. No gloves, no hair nets. No refrigeration.
Certainly I would have no problem partaking in one of the proffered sweets but shouldn't the City, given their penchant under Parker for sticking their nose where it doesn't belong, step in and do something about this?
Or is this just another case where city ordinances and bothersome things such as food safety rules are "for thee and not for me"? Because this is something that Mayor Parker likes, that she's rolling this out as the first step in Houston's transformation into San Francisco, all the bothersome things that restrict the freedoms of the citizenry are heretofore waived and considered null and void, provided you put a shoddy box full of plants in front of your property.
Of course, there is another possibility regarding this "parklet". Could it be that underneath there's a gaping pothole that Annise Antionnete has no designs on fixing? She could then tout this as something new under the Sun to burnish her green credentials for a future State-wide run.
Coming soon to the middle of a road near you: Parklets! A San Francisco treat!
We might want to make sure the S'mores makers invest in those day-glo traffic vests, especially if operating near the Danger Train.
