Tuesday, July 21, 2009

I'm sorry Erin.

You see, it's not all guys who are jerks, just some of them. Unfortunately the "sportz FAN" male is held up as the stereotype for all of us, and that's not fair. Not that this is any comfort to you I understand. Because some idiots decided they had a Divine rights to view the naked body of any woman they choose you're now subjected to a life of looking over your shoulder at every turn and stuffing wash-cloths in the key-holes and in the crack of the door. In short, your life has been ruined, all because you decided to become a reporter for a "man's" game.

In England they have a saying: "Football is a gentleman's game played by hooligans, and Rugby is a hooligan's game played by Gentlemen." That's a pretty good description of the two sports over there, but in America we might say it differently.

"Football is a man's game watched, in large part, by mental infants."

It's those infants, the type of men who think the pinnacle of culture is belching out the Battle Hymn of the Republic after chugging 3 beers, that sort of ruin the sport for the rest of us. They're the reason we have to put up with the "all men cheat" rantings from raving feminists who's idea of utopia is the corralling of all heterosexual males into sperm farms where they can be cattle-prodded into submission every day. It's an ancient idea of masculinaty that's as out of place in today's culture as a dinner jacket would be in pre-historic times. Back when Uga the Mok was challenging you for breeding rights, conking a she-ra on the head, taking her back to the cave and giving her the business may have seemed like a good idea. In today's society unfortunately, that'd still earn you the admiration of the 80's Fraternity set.

I'm not sure who's argument to be more amazed with, 1560 the Game's Shawn and John who said on-air that Erin should "embrace" having her privacy violated and being stalked, or the argument of Bob Norman* from the Broward Sun subtly hinting that Erin's looks sort-of justify it in an odd sort of way. How dare you be attractive and NOT show us your breasts Erin?

What's lost in all of this is that Ms. Andrews is a damn good sideline reporter. She's savvy enough about Football that she understands the game and is capable of asking coaches questions that run deeper than the old Susie Kolber stand-by: "How do you feel?" Losing Andrews on the side-line because of this would set in-game reporting BACK a long way.

Unfortunately, because of this, Erin is going to have to develop a thick outer skin in order to keep her career on track. She's going to be cat-called by drunk boys who downloaded her video before it was removed, she's going to wonder what's behind the lecherous stares that she's getting at every game. Every time she interviews a player "Has he seen the video?" will be in the back of her head. I hope they catch the guys that did this and let her kick them in the balls repeatedly. It's probably a small target but I'm guessing she'll manage.

Sorry Erin, some guys just have a long way to go. Don't hold it against all of us please?