I stated last night on Twitter that this had to be on last Monty Python prank being pulled on America.
"Two dipshits run for political office"
The debate going on with Python staff (one dressed in drag of course) providing silly answers to questions asked by John Cleese. Suddenly, he turns, looks at the camera and says:
"And now for something completely different"
*Cue Music.*
As we all are aware by now that's not what's going on. America, perhaps once the greatest country in the world (debatable I know) is stuck with a horrific game of "would you rather" to determine who will occupy the office of the Presidency from 2017 to at least 2021, barring tragedy.
Would you rather: Be subjected to Donald Trump's blustering idiocy for the next 4 years or Hillary Clinton's shrieking foolishness? This is really a loaded question because, no matter who ends up winning this game show, America is going to lose badly.
It's easy to look at the surface of things and blame the 2-party system with which we're saddled.
Yes, it limits choice and the Republicans and Democrats both have gamed the system to severely restrict the ability of other parties to enter the fray. From draconian ballot access rules to exclusionary debate standards everything in America is not designed to establish Democracy, but to protect the two parties that benefit the most from the sham that we currently practice.
Yes, Congress has become an incumbency protection racket with the two parties only arguing around the margins of gerrymandered maps hoping beyond hope that one or the other will make a monumental mistake (like the GOP nominating Trump [or, in a normal year Clinton]) that will turn off the electorate to temporarily upset the balance of power allowing them to have majorities in both the Executive and Legislative branches that allow disastrous laws like the Affordable Care Act to pass through on partisan lines.
But that's not 'quite' the root cause of the problem, although it is a symptom of it. Neither is it that all politicians, and by all I mean all, at every level, each and every one of them, are completely and separately a breed of their own.
Have you ever tried to have a conversation with a politician? It's like talking to a auto-quote generator. If you meet them at a bar they *might* have a single beer, which they will sit on the table and nurse like a cancer patient while regaling you with their policy priorities and (this last bit is inevitable) "what you need to do" to help them get over the finish line. Politicians don't have conversations, they have sales pitches. They view every.single.interaction with constituents as either an opportunity to gain a vote, or (more importantly) gain a donation. If the media is there then you become a prop in their minstrel show. At no point do you get the feeling that they are a public servant and you are an important part of their constituency.
We're long removed from the fantasy of "citizen politicians" who spend the day working on the farm, or in the city, only to be pulled away for a few years, to serve the country and make sage, wise decisions on the matters of the day. That America ever was there is a fallacy that probably needs to die.
What we have today are people who spend a lifetime preparing to run for office, who spend their lives surrounded by the ruling class, so removed from the serfs that they soon lose all ability to socially interact with them. On the Left you have Hillary Clinton, Rahm Emmanuel and Houston Mayor Sylvester Turner. On the Right you have Ted Cruz, Rick Perry and Harris County Treasurer Orlando Sanchez. People who spend their entire lives running from office to office just trying to find a way to glom onto the machine so they're don't have to try and cut it in the private sector.
On the other side are the gadflys. The hangers-on to the political class who act as political remoras, sucking onto the political class and basing most of the business dealings on them. In Houston we have people like Marty McVey, a man who has, as near as I can tell, no remarkable business acumen except for the innate ability to latch onto the local Democratic political machine and make profit from the largesse of it.
Occasionally, as in the case of McVey and, more notably, Donald Trump, these drains on society decide that they too should make a run at public office. After all, they've grown up their whole business lives around politicians, they view themselves as having the gift of gab and the feel the same way about the commoners as their politician friends do. It should be a wash right?
Except it's not, and in the case of Donald Trump I'd say there's a better than average chance his campaign was always intended to be a raging dumpster fire in order to aid and abet his life-long friend Hillary attain the office of her dreams.
But the politicians aren't the root-cause of the problem either, they are only a symptom.
Finally we have the media. So far in the tank for Clinton they think the fake chest at the bottom with the air hose running through it is filled with real gold. The media have become blinded by their intense desire to be included in the types of parties their lobbyist friends are invited to. Why else do you think the President attends the White House Correspondents dinner? It's to throw the sycophants a bone.
To be clear. There is not now, nor has there ever been, anything closely resembling an "unbiased" media. There was never a "good ol' days" where all we got was a solid dose of Walter Cronkite truth. Hell, even Sir Walter the Revered himself didn't give us that. There is not a person on this Earth, not one, who is capable of 100% repressing their personal beliefs when writing on a topic. THERE.IS.ALWAYS.BIAS. Always. There are no exceptions to this, either on the left or the right.
But still, we're not talking about the problem, only a symptom of it.
The root cause, the Pater Familia of where we are today, stuck in the worst election cycle ever with the two single worst candidates to ever be nominated for office by a major party, is because we, the people, the so-called "backbone of the Nation" have stopped thinking, stopped paying attention, and have outsourced our political discourse to the three groups above.
And I'm not just talking about the 2/3rd of Americans who can't name all three branches of government, I'm referring to people who consider themselves "politically clued in". I'm talking about party activists, people who stay up late watching FoxNews and Rachel Maddow on MSNBC, People who spend their Monday nights at county party committee meetings, their Saturdays phone-banking or block-walking instead of watching College Football as God intended.
I'm referring to people who can name the President, the Vice President, the Speaker of the House, both Minority leaders, the whips, their Governor, all of the State elected officials, their party chairman and their local politicians as well.
Or, as politicians like to call them: useful idiots.
Both the Democratic and Republican parties could have spared us from this mess. The Republicans could have shown a backbone and not allowed a life-long Democrat, and Friend of Bill (Clinton) take over their nomination process and, through open primary votes from non-Republicans, become the parties standard-bearer. And the Democrats could have decided that no, they're NOT going to run interference for Hillary, forcing her to face some real competition instead of just crazy Bernie and...um...that other guy that ran, for a minute...ah never mind, you don't remember him either.
Even after the nominations it could be stopped. If only people would be willing to call out their own party when they're wrong.
But they're not. They can't be. Because so many political types have based so much of their self-worth on whether or not their chosen party wins we're to the point that policy doesn't matter. This is why politicians can "evolve" on issues and suddenly a vociferous pro-defense-of-marriage Democratic blogger pivots and writes (without a hint of self-awareness) that anyone anti-GLBTQPI(Z? We need to find something different, I'm getting lost) thoughts is a bigot who should immediately be ran out of polite society on a rail.
We either don't think, or we don't care. The result of this is that the ruling class has successfully convinced us that the real threat to the Republic, the number one danger facing us, of changing our way of lives and taking away all of our freedoms, is.....us.
And we thank them for it, begging them to take over more, empowering them with more and refusing to see what is going on right in front of us each and every day.
"And now for something completely different."
Except.....it won't be.
Thursday, October 20, 2016
Thursday, October 13, 2016
HALV: One more thing on the GHP's expensive new office space.
Earlier, (OK, a few minutes ago, I schedule these things so there's some distance) I wrote about how The ruling class is dining on peacock and quaffing Champagne while the under class in Houston is reliving a scene from Oliver! (Please sir, may I have some more?)
Of course there are problems with this, problems that will only be exacerbated as Statist thought continues to plague our politics and mask itself under the guise of "Progressive" political theory, but it doesn't really get to the heart of the issue.
Let's be clear: Houston having a "nice front door" on a house that's a shambles won't matter one iota.
"That view of Discovery Green"? Bunk. Because almost every city in America can find a place where there's a nice view on offer.
"Gleaming offices with stills of Houston?" Crap. Because you can find picturesque spots almost everywhere.
(The exception to the above rules is Midland, where there is nothing pretty.)
The nicest view of Houston, when entering, is coming up State Highway 288, right about the time you hit the exit to the Zoo. If you've watched a Texans game on CBS then you've seen it, because that's where they originate the wide shot of downtown.
That Houston has some nice places, and there are people who think we need MORE of them (for "quality of life" or some such) is not the issue. Because any CEO, or President, or Princess, or low-level royalty coming to Houston who thinks they want to upend their company because of some pictures and a view is one step below the intelligence level of the two functional idiots we currently have facing-off for the Presidency.
Roads, accessibility, education, cost-of-living, plentiful, cheap, conveniently located housing, access to services and yes, public transit (designed properly, of which Houston has none) are things that companies consider right behind profit and loss. Here's what a good CEO would consider (In no particular order):
1. Is Houston an appreciably cheaper place to conduct business than where we currently reside?
2. Is Houston accessible to my workers and clients?
3. Can I hire and retain a quality workforce?
4. Is the long-term political system sustainable?
5. Is the regulatory framework stable, fair and consistent?
.
.
.
.
.
1002. Do they have nice parks?
.
.
.
.
1,000,008. Is their Chamber of Commerce housed in nice offices with pretty pictures?
The point being that trinkets, while nice to have and they make the people working inside them feel better about themselves, do not draw business. It's telling that the two business highlighted in the Chronicle story were newly located in Katy and Pearland respectively, and NOT in Houston proper.
The reasons for this are pretty simple: First, Houston's roads are shit. And not just "could use some work" shit but "falling apart at the seams" shit. "You struggle to get around town" levels of shit is what we're talking about. Second, (and this is really not Houston's fault to a point) the education system in Texas is starting to crumble. Yes, we have ourselves some bitchin' football stadiums, and our underwater basket-weaving program is second to none, and boy does HISD have the administration staff cooking. But when it comes to actually, I don't know, educating, the whole kit-and-kaboodle is just as much shit as the roads.
Then there's the regulatory and tax structure in Houston, which is even more shit. City Council and the recent run of Mayors have chosen to take an "ordinance for all" approach to solving problems. Got an issue? Pass and ordinance to solve it. Then, once everything falls to shit, react in horror as the law of unintended consequences rears its ugly head.
Oh, and raise taxes. Or, more specifically, go to the citizens and tell them that they can have more than the dreams of Avarice for just a little bit more than the cost of a pizza per year in increased taxes. Don't worry, the evil, greedy businesses will pa.....ah shit.
In summary: The shiny new, gleaming, GHP offices area gilded front door on what is becoming an increasingly large pile of shit. The answer? Right now it's limited to "raise taxes" and " bike exchanges", which only mean that the poor will have a diminished ability to get out of the shit they find themselves in and the rest of us are just going to have to pedal harder to not fall further behind.
Meanwhile businesses, being in possession of shovels, will dig themselves out of the shit and continue to move to locations, outside of the city, preferably upwind of the stench.
Of course there are problems with this, problems that will only be exacerbated as Statist thought continues to plague our politics and mask itself under the guise of "Progressive" political theory, but it doesn't really get to the heart of the issue.
Let's be clear: Houston having a "nice front door" on a house that's a shambles won't matter one iota.
"That view of Discovery Green"? Bunk. Because almost every city in America can find a place where there's a nice view on offer.
"Gleaming offices with stills of Houston?" Crap. Because you can find picturesque spots almost everywhere.
(The exception to the above rules is Midland, where there is nothing pretty.)
The nicest view of Houston, when entering, is coming up State Highway 288, right about the time you hit the exit to the Zoo. If you've watched a Texans game on CBS then you've seen it, because that's where they originate the wide shot of downtown.
That Houston has some nice places, and there are people who think we need MORE of them (for "quality of life" or some such) is not the issue. Because any CEO, or President, or Princess, or low-level royalty coming to Houston who thinks they want to upend their company because of some pictures and a view is one step below the intelligence level of the two functional idiots we currently have facing-off for the Presidency.
Roads, accessibility, education, cost-of-living, plentiful, cheap, conveniently located housing, access to services and yes, public transit (designed properly, of which Houston has none) are things that companies consider right behind profit and loss. Here's what a good CEO would consider (In no particular order):
1. Is Houston an appreciably cheaper place to conduct business than where we currently reside?
2. Is Houston accessible to my workers and clients?
3. Can I hire and retain a quality workforce?
4. Is the long-term political system sustainable?
5. Is the regulatory framework stable, fair and consistent?
.
.
.
.
.
1002. Do they have nice parks?
.
.
.
.
1,000,008. Is their Chamber of Commerce housed in nice offices with pretty pictures?
The point being that trinkets, while nice to have and they make the people working inside them feel better about themselves, do not draw business. It's telling that the two business highlighted in the Chronicle story were newly located in Katy and Pearland respectively, and NOT in Houston proper.
The reasons for this are pretty simple: First, Houston's roads are shit. And not just "could use some work" shit but "falling apart at the seams" shit. "You struggle to get around town" levels of shit is what we're talking about. Second, (and this is really not Houston's fault to a point) the education system in Texas is starting to crumble. Yes, we have ourselves some bitchin' football stadiums, and our underwater basket-weaving program is second to none, and boy does HISD have the administration staff cooking. But when it comes to actually, I don't know, educating, the whole kit-and-kaboodle is just as much shit as the roads.
Then there's the regulatory and tax structure in Houston, which is even more shit. City Council and the recent run of Mayors have chosen to take an "ordinance for all" approach to solving problems. Got an issue? Pass and ordinance to solve it. Then, once everything falls to shit, react in horror as the law of unintended consequences rears its ugly head.
Oh, and raise taxes. Or, more specifically, go to the citizens and tell them that they can have more than the dreams of Avarice for just a little bit more than the cost of a pizza per year in increased taxes. Don't worry, the evil, greedy businesses will pa.....ah shit.
In summary: The shiny new, gleaming, GHP offices area gilded front door on what is becoming an increasingly large pile of shit. The answer? Right now it's limited to "raise taxes" and " bike exchanges", which only mean that the poor will have a diminished ability to get out of the shit they find themselves in and the rest of us are just going to have to pedal harder to not fall further behind.
Meanwhile businesses, being in possession of shovels, will dig themselves out of the shit and continue to move to locations, outside of the city, preferably upwind of the stench.
HALV: No boom for you. (But it's still going for the ruling class)
"Houston's Boom is OVER!" blared the headline from Business Insider in my news feed today. Followed immediately by this:
Greater Houston Partnership unveils shiny, new digs in downtown Houston. Chron.com
They've hidden more details (and their usual rah-rah reporting) in this story behind their paywall, where they (seriously) discuss the President of Mozambique not being impressed with the GHP's cramped offices as being one of the driving forces behind the expenditure of $8-plus Million.
Which sums up the leadership vacuum in Houston pretty neatly methinks.
Houston is a city with a 2nd world infrastructure, glaring budget problems, rising violent crime and an increasing unemployment rate.
But by golly we sure have some nice digs for our quasi-governmental Chamber of Commerce.
A Chamber of Commerce presided over by Jaime Rootes, who also presides over the Houston Texans, that perpetually mediocre NFL franchise on Kirby.
Which is fitting when you think about it. While Texans fans suffer through loss after loss the owner and his crew rake in Millions. While Houston citizens suffer the members of the ruling class, especially those connected to elected officials through patronage, are thriving.
Welcome to America in 2016 and the "new" American dream. It's not what you know, how hard you work or how innovative you are any more folks, it's whether or not you have enough money to dole out favors to elected officials or quasi-governmental agencies in order to gain subsidy in return.
And it's just going to get worse as we go forward if we continue repeating the same mistakes, and electing the same type of politician to lead us.
Oh say can you see......that all of the tenants of the building are quasi-governmental, or rely on the government for largesse.
Yay.
Greater Houston Partnership unveils shiny, new digs in downtown Houston. Chron.com
They've hidden more details (and their usual rah-rah reporting) in this story behind their paywall, where they (seriously) discuss the President of Mozambique not being impressed with the GHP's cramped offices as being one of the driving forces behind the expenditure of $8-plus Million.
Which sums up the leadership vacuum in Houston pretty neatly methinks.
Houston is a city with a 2nd world infrastructure, glaring budget problems, rising violent crime and an increasing unemployment rate.
But by golly we sure have some nice digs for our quasi-governmental Chamber of Commerce.
A Chamber of Commerce presided over by Jaime Rootes, who also presides over the Houston Texans, that perpetually mediocre NFL franchise on Kirby.
Which is fitting when you think about it. While Texans fans suffer through loss after loss the owner and his crew rake in Millions. While Houston citizens suffer the members of the ruling class, especially those connected to elected officials through patronage, are thriving.
Welcome to America in 2016 and the "new" American dream. It's not what you know, how hard you work or how innovative you are any more folks, it's whether or not you have enough money to dole out favors to elected officials or quasi-governmental agencies in order to gain subsidy in return.
And it's just going to get worse as we go forward if we continue repeating the same mistakes, and electing the same type of politician to lead us.
Oh say can you see......that all of the tenants of the building are quasi-governmental, or rely on the government for largesse.
Partnership Tower is owned by Houston First, which is a tenant, along with the Harris County Houston Sports Authority, the Center for Houston's Future, the Hotel and Lodging Association of Greater Houston and the Greater Houston Visitors Bureau, whose staff has been integrated with Houston First.
Yay.
Tuesday, August 16, 2016
A Mid-Summer Break. Help others.
Time to take some time off from this blog for a bit. While I'm gone I might remind you that the people in Louisiana are having a rough go of it right now.
Here's a pretty good CNN article laying out ways that you can help them.
If you can, please do so.
But for the grace of God there go we.
Here's a pretty good CNN article laying out ways that you can help them.
If you can, please do so.
But for the grace of God there go we.
Election Day 2016: ....and nothing else matters....
We're 84 days away from the end of all things good and holy, some thoughts.
- No matter who wins, we all lose. At this point we're just splitting hairs over which of the two candidates, The Anointed One, or the Bronzed Ego, is going to make a worse President. The reality is they are both going to be awful and neither has the apparent chops to improve or, in the case of the Ego, "pivot" to anything approaching respectability.
- At this point, I don't think it's necessary to fully recap why Donald J. Trump would be a disaster, but it still seems that some people are holding out hope that Hillary Rodham Clinton will somehow be not that bad. They're wrong of course, because a Hillary Presidency will be just as big, if nor more of, a disaster.
Not a disaster of the "OMG! we're all going to DIE!" type or even one that puts the very fabric of the country in danger but a disaster in the continued dearth of leadership vein that most cities, some states and the country has seen over the last several years.
To be clear. I'm not as gloom and doom as most. In fact, when bad leaders are in charge there is typically opportunity for some, and I imagine they will take advantage of it, creating wealth, and hoarding it (wisely) as they have always.
What is certain to suffer is America's "position in the world" if you feel that type of thing is important (I do, but not in a manner that you might thing) and the government's ability to function in a manner that is subject to the rule of law.
- A bigger concern, to most, should be that the cities, towns and states are starting to show real signs of wear and tear, as groups such as Black Lives Matter and ineffectual, progressive, politicians find new and creative ways to continue receiving loyalty from the very groups that they are exploiting the most.
In fact, monolithic blocs of voters skewing heavily towards one party or another is probably a bigger concern than the fact that there are still a lot of people who believe, heartily, that their vote matters. The same pundits who cheered the black votes 90+ percent loyalty to candidates with (D) following their names are suddenly shedding crocodile tears over only 11% of white in one state voting against candidates with (R) following it. Repeat after me: lock-step voting is bad. No matter the demographic slicer that's being applied.
- The good news: Football season is starting soon which means: A distraction.
The Olympics have been OK but there's nothing that can distract from the depressing reality that out of 300 Million people the best we could find was a habitual liar and live-action baboon to run for office is startling. But, "Gary Johnson!" you holler, to which I say: "Meh."
Even the Libertarians couldn't sort it out and nominate someone who was, to put this indelicately, Libertarian. At least the Greens have nominated another communist carnival barker I guess? Some things never change.
- Then there's the sad case of Evan McMullin, an apparently decent man who's been caught up in the hissy-fit of rejection from some of the more Reagan-underwear wearing fellows over on the Right. "Back to the 80's!" is not a winning campaign slogan.
Unfortunately, I wouldn't have thought "Back to the 50's!" would have been either but here we are, in 2016 listening to the two nominees for the two major parties in a diminishing world power yearn fondly for the heady, early days of the Cold War.
Happiness is rarely found in the past, but rarely expected in the future, at least where politics is concerned.
- No matter who wins, we all lose. At this point we're just splitting hairs over which of the two candidates, The Anointed One, or the Bronzed Ego, is going to make a worse President. The reality is they are both going to be awful and neither has the apparent chops to improve or, in the case of the Ego, "pivot" to anything approaching respectability.
- At this point, I don't think it's necessary to fully recap why Donald J. Trump would be a disaster, but it still seems that some people are holding out hope that Hillary Rodham Clinton will somehow be not that bad. They're wrong of course, because a Hillary Presidency will be just as big, if nor more of, a disaster.
Not a disaster of the "OMG! we're all going to DIE!" type or even one that puts the very fabric of the country in danger but a disaster in the continued dearth of leadership vein that most cities, some states and the country has seen over the last several years.
To be clear. I'm not as gloom and doom as most. In fact, when bad leaders are in charge there is typically opportunity for some, and I imagine they will take advantage of it, creating wealth, and hoarding it (wisely) as they have always.
What is certain to suffer is America's "position in the world" if you feel that type of thing is important (I do, but not in a manner that you might thing) and the government's ability to function in a manner that is subject to the rule of law.
- A bigger concern, to most, should be that the cities, towns and states are starting to show real signs of wear and tear, as groups such as Black Lives Matter and ineffectual, progressive, politicians find new and creative ways to continue receiving loyalty from the very groups that they are exploiting the most.
In fact, monolithic blocs of voters skewing heavily towards one party or another is probably a bigger concern than the fact that there are still a lot of people who believe, heartily, that their vote matters. The same pundits who cheered the black votes 90+ percent loyalty to candidates with (D) following their names are suddenly shedding crocodile tears over only 11% of white in one state voting against candidates with (R) following it. Repeat after me: lock-step voting is bad. No matter the demographic slicer that's being applied.
- The good news: Football season is starting soon which means: A distraction.
The Olympics have been OK but there's nothing that can distract from the depressing reality that out of 300 Million people the best we could find was a habitual liar and live-action baboon to run for office is startling. But, "Gary Johnson!" you holler, to which I say: "Meh."
Even the Libertarians couldn't sort it out and nominate someone who was, to put this indelicately, Libertarian. At least the Greens have nominated another communist carnival barker I guess? Some things never change.
- Then there's the sad case of Evan McMullin, an apparently decent man who's been caught up in the hissy-fit of rejection from some of the more Reagan-underwear wearing fellows over on the Right. "Back to the 80's!" is not a winning campaign slogan.
Unfortunately, I wouldn't have thought "Back to the 50's!" would have been either but here we are, in 2016 listening to the two nominees for the two major parties in a diminishing world power yearn fondly for the heady, early days of the Cold War.
Happiness is rarely found in the past, but rarely expected in the future, at least where politics is concerned.
Monday, August 15, 2016
HALV: Were I to think-piece Houston's future.
A few days ago I mentioned that the Chron's editor o' snark had issued an "open" call for "all" Houstonians to offer up think pieces on the city's future. If you're interested, and able, to view the Chron's behind-the-pay-wall call to arms you can find it here.
Go ahead and read it, I'll wait......
Back? Good.
Were I of the think-piecing proclivity I would probably consider offering up a suggestion to have rejected by Ms. Gray (who doesn't converse with me much other to tell me, on Twitter, how wrong I am). But, I've always wanted to pen a Dystopian fiction novel (My anti-hero would be brooding, and sultry, and left-handed) so I thought, why not, let's give it a go.
Without further ado:
"Houtopia: A city's tale."
"Shut up" he said as he slammed the snooze button for the second time.
Dick Stockton knew he had to get up, but he didn't want to especially. It was just another August day in Houston and at 6:00AM the temperature outside was already up to 98 degrees. Expected highs somewhere around 115 and thunderstorms in the afternoon. All of this to look forward to and Dick knew that his day would also be full of press conferences and trying to dodge the personal security of Mayor X, who have made it very clear they don't like questions.
Dick stretched and looked out the window of his company provided 20th story efficiency. "Shit, there's smoke coming from the Metro line again." "Is Metro on fire?" now had a Houston branch on Twitter and the result was usually "yes". Not that he blamed Metro CEO Jay Blazek Crossley however, after all, massive expansion of the light-rail system had brought total track mileage up to 42 (just a few more to 50 and "world class" status) but the city's refusal to approve a 187% tax increase to fund maintenance had left the agency cash-strapped and running out of ideas.
"Push the train" Thursdays didn't help, nor did "Get out and walk" Tuesdays as citizens were increasingly realizing that it's not ideal to perform vigorous physical exercise in near-100 degree heat shortly before going to the office.
Those who still worked in an office that is. Since the 2047 Nationalization act oil and gas jobs were few and far between, with the collapse of the private medical industry under "KanyeCare" due to an over-reliance on butt implants, Houston's job market was gutted. Everyone thought things would change if they could just build ANOTHER sports arena for the new professional handball team but that league folded after only four years and their new stadium was now a haven for cats and vagrants. It's too bad, because this really seemed like the shot-in-the arm that would salvage the economic hopes of the Sharpstown area as former mayor David Crossley promised.
What was left in Houston was a mish-mash of government, fast-food, retail and other assorted hospitality workers catering to the people who owned the businesses. Forget the income inequality that people griped about in the 10's, in the 60's the gap was a Grand Canyon. Dick had hope however because President Ashley Kutcher (formerly Ashton) promised she "had a plan" which she would unveil shortly after making her annual State of the Union speech at this year's Oscars.
Dick jumped in the shower and (just) managed to get the soap out of his hair before the mandatory :30 second timer stopped the water flow. He grabbed a handful of organic, free-range, fair-trade breakfast supplement flakes before heading out the door hoping that Starbucks still had some of the good cat-shit coffee from Malaysia left by the time he got there.
God it was hot. As he took the 22 flights of stairs down to the parking garage he knew that today wasn't going to be filled with good news. Mayor X had promised Houstonians a major policy announcement today that was predicted, though not confirmed, to be the finalization of his program designed to empty River Oaks of "those rich bastards", tear down their houses and replace them with government housing. Sure, there were questions how a broke, dilapidated city like Houston could afford to do this, but details weren't X's thing. The man could give a speech however.
As Dick unplugged his 2050 Tesla Musk (I can't believe the pompous bastard named it after himself) he knew that the time was coming for him to get a new model but, since the merger of Tesla and Chinese owned BYD the cars that were produced just weren't as good as his old, government subsidized rambler. Plus, BYD's don't look as cool. Oh well, for another time, for now Dick had to focus in to navigate the road in front of him. Traffic in Houston was always bad, but moving down Dallas Street to get to City Hall as almost impossible since the city ran out of public works funds, gave up, and converted all of the streets to dirt roads.
He knew this would be a 45 minute drive, at least, and that there was no way Starbucks would have ANY coffee left (they were only allowed to make 200 per day due to water rationing) by the time he got there. "Shit" under his breath, "this means that I'm going to have to drink the recycled swill that's free in the press pool." What Dick really wanted was a Red Bull, but those, and all other energy drinks, were outlawed to protect the people from themselves.
About an hour later, there was a 20 minute delay because a MetroRail car caught fire and went up in a ball of flames about 200 feet in front of him, he finally got to City Hall, stopping only for a minute to marvel at Mayor X's refurbished Hummer sitting on the lawn. It was painted bright blue, and looks as if it had just gotten new wheels, so it was clear the Mayor would be in a good mood this morning.
(Next: Chapter Two - The X-Man cometh)
Go ahead and read it, I'll wait......
Back? Good.
Were I of the think-piecing proclivity I would probably consider offering up a suggestion to have rejected by Ms. Gray (who doesn't converse with me much other to tell me, on Twitter, how wrong I am). But, I've always wanted to pen a Dystopian fiction novel (My anti-hero would be brooding, and sultry, and left-handed) so I thought, why not, let's give it a go.
Without further ado:
"Houtopia: A city's tale."
"Shut up" he said as he slammed the snooze button for the second time.
Dick Stockton knew he had to get up, but he didn't want to especially. It was just another August day in Houston and at 6:00AM the temperature outside was already up to 98 degrees. Expected highs somewhere around 115 and thunderstorms in the afternoon. All of this to look forward to and Dick knew that his day would also be full of press conferences and trying to dodge the personal security of Mayor X, who have made it very clear they don't like questions.
Dick stretched and looked out the window of his company provided 20th story efficiency. "Shit, there's smoke coming from the Metro line again." "Is Metro on fire?" now had a Houston branch on Twitter and the result was usually "yes". Not that he blamed Metro CEO Jay Blazek Crossley however, after all, massive expansion of the light-rail system had brought total track mileage up to 42 (just a few more to 50 and "world class" status) but the city's refusal to approve a 187% tax increase to fund maintenance had left the agency cash-strapped and running out of ideas.
"Push the train" Thursdays didn't help, nor did "Get out and walk" Tuesdays as citizens were increasingly realizing that it's not ideal to perform vigorous physical exercise in near-100 degree heat shortly before going to the office.
Those who still worked in an office that is. Since the 2047 Nationalization act oil and gas jobs were few and far between, with the collapse of the private medical industry under "KanyeCare" due to an over-reliance on butt implants, Houston's job market was gutted. Everyone thought things would change if they could just build ANOTHER sports arena for the new professional handball team but that league folded after only four years and their new stadium was now a haven for cats and vagrants. It's too bad, because this really seemed like the shot-in-the arm that would salvage the economic hopes of the Sharpstown area as former mayor David Crossley promised.
What was left in Houston was a mish-mash of government, fast-food, retail and other assorted hospitality workers catering to the people who owned the businesses. Forget the income inequality that people griped about in the 10's, in the 60's the gap was a Grand Canyon. Dick had hope however because President Ashley Kutcher (formerly Ashton) promised she "had a plan" which she would unveil shortly after making her annual State of the Union speech at this year's Oscars.
Dick jumped in the shower and (just) managed to get the soap out of his hair before the mandatory :30 second timer stopped the water flow. He grabbed a handful of organic, free-range, fair-trade breakfast supplement flakes before heading out the door hoping that Starbucks still had some of the good cat-shit coffee from Malaysia left by the time he got there.
God it was hot. As he took the 22 flights of stairs down to the parking garage he knew that today wasn't going to be filled with good news. Mayor X had promised Houstonians a major policy announcement today that was predicted, though not confirmed, to be the finalization of his program designed to empty River Oaks of "those rich bastards", tear down their houses and replace them with government housing. Sure, there were questions how a broke, dilapidated city like Houston could afford to do this, but details weren't X's thing. The man could give a speech however.
As Dick unplugged his 2050 Tesla Musk (I can't believe the pompous bastard named it after himself) he knew that the time was coming for him to get a new model but, since the merger of Tesla and Chinese owned BYD the cars that were produced just weren't as good as his old, government subsidized rambler. Plus, BYD's don't look as cool. Oh well, for another time, for now Dick had to focus in to navigate the road in front of him. Traffic in Houston was always bad, but moving down Dallas Street to get to City Hall as almost impossible since the city ran out of public works funds, gave up, and converted all of the streets to dirt roads.
He knew this would be a 45 minute drive, at least, and that there was no way Starbucks would have ANY coffee left (they were only allowed to make 200 per day due to water rationing) by the time he got there. "Shit" under his breath, "this means that I'm going to have to drink the recycled swill that's free in the press pool." What Dick really wanted was a Red Bull, but those, and all other energy drinks, were outlawed to protect the people from themselves.
About an hour later, there was a 20 minute delay because a MetroRail car caught fire and went up in a ball of flames about 200 feet in front of him, he finally got to City Hall, stopping only for a minute to marvel at Mayor X's refurbished Hummer sitting on the lawn. It was painted bright blue, and looks as if it had just gotten new wheels, so it was clear the Mayor would be in a good mood this morning.
(Next: Chapter Two - The X-Man cometh)
Friday, August 12, 2016
This is why we can't have nice things.
You've seen those seats on buses, trains, or other modes of public transit marked "reserved for the elderly" right? And you've seen times where people ignored it and forced an elderly person to stand as well I'm sure.
Now you know why.....
Someone offered this Grandad a seat on the subway, his reaction was priceless. Natasha Hinde, HuffingtonPost UK
A 68-year-old proved that age ain’t nothin’ but a number - after he surprised commuters with some epic feats of strength on the underground.
Wayne McEntire, from Texas, was travelling on the subway when someone offered to get up so he could sit in the priority seat, available for the elderly, people with disabilities or pregnant women.
McEntire politely declined the seat, then surprised passengers on the carriage by clinging onto a nearby pole and using his upper body strength to lift his legs into the air.
Of course, his 19 year old grandson was there and just happened to take pictures, which he then posted on Twitter to the amusement of many.
Three things:
1. I don't believe that this is how this story happened. I think the Grandfather was just showing off, and they invented the "give up the seat" portion to make it seem just a little less horrible.
2. They failed.
3. His reaction wasn't "priceless" or "epic" it was damn rude.
Because, if it DID happen like this, then Grandpa and Grandson are two of the biggest prats in the world.
Someone does the right thing, offers to give up their seat to a person for who it's intended, and the response is to debase them by proving that you're somehow better than them because you can flag yourself in public for no other reason than to show them up.
"What a guy" indeed.
Of course, they're from Texas.
So the next time you see an elderly person walking toward you and you're seated the lesson learned from this is "don't give up your seat". Let the old asshole stand up. Otherwise you might be publicly shown-up.
Sad.
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